RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL: JEWISH SPIRITUAL RENEWAL: Apr 20, 2012

Friday, April 20, 2012

Art Recycled from Trash 2012 : Juried Exhibit:Bal Tashchit :RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL

Art Recycled from Trash 2012 : Juried Exhibit: Bal Tashchit :RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL

Bal tashchit ("do not destroy") is a basic ethical principle in Jewish law and the foundation of Eco-Judaism.

The principle is rooted in the Biblical law of Deuteronomy 20:19–20. In the Bible, the command is said in the context of wartime and forbids the cutting down of fruit trees in order to assist in a siege.

In early rabbinic law however, the bal tashchit principle in understood to include other forms of senseless damage or waste. For instance, the Babylonian Talmud applies the principle to prevent the wasting of lamp oil, the tearing of clothing, the chopping up of furniture for firewood, or the killing of animals. In all cases, bal tashchit is invoked only for destruction that is deemed unnecessary. Destruction is explicitly condoned when the cause or need is adequate.[Talmud Bavli Tractates Shabbat 67b, Chullin 7b, and Kiddushin 32a ]

In contemporary Jewish ethics on Judaism and ecology, advocates often point to bal taschit as an environmental principle. Rabbi Arthur Segal learned many of the precepts of Eco-Judaism from his friends and teachers e.g. Rabbi Gershon Caudil , Rabbi Arthur Waskow and Rabbi Michael Lerner.

PRESS RELEASE:

A.R.T. Art Recycled from Trash 2012

3^rd Annual Juried Exhibit at Picture This Gallery

Picture This Gallery

78 D Arrow Road, Cypress Square

Friday, April 20, 6 - 8 pm

843 842 5299

This years entries keep amazing and amusing, the 2012 A.R.T. Art Recycled from Trash exhibit is off to a roaring start. "A.R.T. Art Recycled from Trash: A Juried Exhibit" will be on view April 2nd through April 28th at Picture This Gallery, 78 D Arrow Road, Cypress Square, Hilton Head Island, SC. More than a traditional exhibit or art happening, "A.R.T." crosses boundaries, in all artistic mediums and appeals to all ages.

"We added the "People's Choice Award'," (to be announced April 28th), which gets everyone involved in the exhibit on a personal level, said Scott." "It's a national phenomenon based on a grassroots response to what we can personally do about environmental issues. Many artists are now working with recycled materials. What better use of items that are 'free' and would be thrown away." Come by and vote for your favorite entry and visit the event page on facebook.

Winners will be announced at the April 20th awards reception, from 6:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m., an exciting opportunity to meet the jurors and regional artists in attendance. First Prize Award is $500 and Second Prize $250 both sponsored by Picture This Gallery. The Junior Division Award is $100, sponsored by jcostello gallery and the People's Choice Award $200. is sponsored by Rabbi Arthur and Ellen Segal Charitable Trust for the Arts. Media sponsor, Hilton Head Monthly Magazine.

As submissions arrive it's clear that art comes in all forms. The juried exhibit showcases creativity and provides focus on our environment. All original artwork is at least 75% recycled, re-used and repurposed from elements that were originally manufactured. Submissions were accepted in the categories of two-dimensional art, three-dimensional art, clothing, jewelry, and utilitarian items.

The three to five year olds in the Dolphin Room at First Presbyterian Day School are competing again this year with a collection of handmade puppets. The school's mandate of using recycled materials in the teaching process carries over to participating in this exhibit.

By offering a junior artist division, Scott also got the young artists involved. The gallery is hosting a special "Milk & Cookies" event for the children of 1st Presbyterian on Monday April 16^that 11 am.

Show judges are Judith Costello of jcostello gallery; Louanne LaRoche, artist and former owner of the Red Piano Gallery, and Karen Davies of SCAD, Savannah College of Art & Design.

Contact the gallery for more information.

M – F 9:30 – 5:30

Sat 9:30 – 12:30

Picture This Gallery

78 D Arrow Road

Cypress Square

Hilton Head Island SC 29928

843 842 5299

Mira Scott

Mark S. Tierney

Rabbi Arthur Segal www.jewishspiritualrenewal.org
Jewish Renewal www.jewishrenewal.info
Jewish Spiritual Renewal http://rabbiarthursegal.blogspot.com
Jewish Spirituality
Eco Judaism
facebook.com/RabbiArthurSegalJewishSpiritualRenewal
Hilton Head Island, SC, Bluffton, SC, Savannah, GA

RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL: JEWISH SPIRITUAL RENEWAL: METZORA: WOMEN'S RIGHTS

RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL: JEWISH SPIRITUAL RENEWAL: METZORA: WOMEN'S RIGHTS

RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL:CHUMASH CANDESCENCE:

PARASHA METZORA: LEVITICUS 14:01-15:33

CHUMASH CANDESCENCE
PARASHA METZORA
LEVITICUS 14:01-15:33
SHABBAT HA GADOL

"God created man in His image...He created them male and female...God blessed them and God said to them: Be fruitful and multiply" (Genesis
1:27-28).

My apologies to you, dear reader, if the content of this week's d'var
Torah causes anyone any unpleasantness. This Torah portion in the early Reform
services was not read, and a portion from one of the Prophets was
substituted for it. Some may consider its topic to be X-rated. I can
assure you that it is all from our Torah and our Talmud. If you are
uncomfortable with it, please set it aside for another time. These
chapters however were studied vigorously not only by our sages but also
by the Church fathers. The ramifications these chapters have had on Western
society's view of sex, women's roles, women's rights and bodily fluids
has been astounding.

Genesis says that men and women are made in God's image and were
created by God. We were commanded to multiply, the first of the Torah's
613 Mitzvoth. We were created, as you know, from your biology classes,
with our females having the ova (eggs) that would once fertilized
by our species male seed (semen) in her uterine wall grow and nurture
into a child. If this wall is not embedded, it is sloughed off monthly in
what is called menses. It is a wonderful system, made as we are
traditionally taught in God's image by God. God would not make us full
of dirty and contaminated fluids, would He?

"A man from whom there is a discharge of semen shall immerse his entire
flesh in the water and remain contaminated until evening" (Lev. 15:16). "Any
bedding upon which the person with the discharge will recline shall be
contaminated, and any vessel upon which he will sit shall become contaminate" (Lev.
15:04). "Anyone who touches the flesh of this man...remains contaminated" (Lev.
15:07). If the "contaminated person" spits on someone, that person becomes
contaminated (Lev. 15:08) and any riding equipment he sits on becomes
contaminated (Lev. 15:09). A woman having had sex is contaminated until
the evening (Lev. 15:18). "When a woman has a discharge, her discharge being
menstrual blood, she shall be in a state of separation for seven days and
anyone touching her shall remain contaminated until the evening" (Lev.
15:19). Her bedding and clothes become contaminated and anyone having sex with
her, is contaminated for seven days (Lev. 15:20-24).

The Talmud teaches that semen or a zav-emission is contaminated. It causes
contamination to the emitter and anyone who touches it or him. The Talmud
called a man who has had a seminal emission a baal keri. If one has a
second and then a third emission, his level of contamination and what he needs
to do to purify himself increases. If one sits on a blanket that a baal keri
sat upon, he becomes contaminated. If he sits upon ten blankets, with the
bottom most one being the only one that the baal keri sat on, he still
becomes contaminated (Rashi).

The Talmud extracts its laws of family purity, taharat ha mishpocha,
from verses 15:19-28. The basis for the laws of a menstruant (niddah) and
the period of time each month a man is forbidden to his wife (niddut) are
found in these verses according to the sages. The rabbis posited that since
husband and wife are sanctified to one another, these laws of family purity
are the basis for the religious survival of the family unit.

Talmud Niddah 66A states that since it is difficult for a woman to know
exactly when she has stopped menstruating, whether her discharge is
menstrual blood, clotted blood, or another type of discharge (zavah), she needs to
bring a "bedeka" cloth to her rabbi for him to look at it to make the
determination if she is allowed to again cohabit with her husband.
Since it is difficult to determine if the stains on this cloth are fresh blood,
dried blood, or a zavah secretion, the Talmud says the women of Israel took it
upon themselves to assume they are in a state of zavah contamination when they
have any discharge. This then adds an additional period of time a woman's
normal monthly flow when sex with her husband is prohibited. This practice is
still done today in traditional communities.

"Mundus Vult Decipi," the world wants to be deceived. Our people did not
invent family purity laws, nor did we take them to their furthermost
degree. Other cultures that preceded us in the Middle East had similar
prohibitions, and the Koran, which was written a short time after our Talmud, has
multiple pages describing every imaginable color pattern of a woman's discharge.

If there is any area where Judaism goes to an absolute extreme it is in
the separation of the sexes, says Rabbi Dovid Rosenfeld. Traditionally, boys
and girls were sent to separate schools on the pretext of sexual separation.
However the effect was to keep girls unschooled and untaught in Torah and
Talmudic laws that controlled their lives and keep them well versed in
child care, cooking, and other household duties. In a traditional
synagogue men and women are separated with a mechitza partition. Mixed social
gathering and dating were almost nonexistent. Match making with arranged shidduchs
(engagements) was the norm.

The Talmud says a man and woman who are not married to each other cannot
be alone in a place where it is unlikely for someone to intrude. How old can
this woman be in order not to be alone with a man? Three years old is the
answer. Why three? Because a three-year-old is capable of having sex.
Someone younger than three can have sex, but her hymen will regrow, the rabbis
teach, so she is still technically a virgin, and her father can still marry her
off as "unspoiled."

The Mishna states in Chagiga 1:08, that many of our precepts are as
"mountains hanging on hairs." This means that mountains of technical
details and laws are based on passing scriptural references. I can understand how
society then needed to function with women subservient to men. I can
understand also the use of slaves in this historical context. But I
cannot condone nor can I tolerate seeing Jewish women or any women being
dragged along, unwillingly, by their Talmudic hair. Granted that our Talmud is
said to protect women with a ketubah (marriage contract). But if one
reads the tractate in the Talmud called Ketuvot one will find that the vast
majority of the text is to protect the man's investment in his wife (or
wives).

Dafs (folios) 6A and B discuss whether having sex with a virgin on
Shabbat is allowed. Rabbi Simi says that one may not stuff a piece of cloth to
seal a barrel. But Rabbi Shmuel says on Shabbat one may enter a narrow opening
even though he may make pebbles fall. Rav Ami says it is wrong to lance a boil
on Shabbat because pus in a boil is stored and outside the flesh, but
that virginal blood is stored, but inside the flesh. The pages go on like this
discussing how one gives back a bride who is not a virgin, and how one
can decide his wife's virginity. There is very little concern for the welfare
of the bride especially when she must be forced to testify that she was a
virgin and to show proof of this with a bloodied rag. Remember also in any
traditional ketubah, it is the husband who can release his wife from marriage and
"pay her off.' If a husband does not give his wife a Get (Jewish divorce), he
is free to remarry as he may have many wives. The abandoned wife cannot
remarry as she is still legally married. The liberal Jewish movement has made
monumental inroads into this problem by making part of the marriage
ketubah a promise of the husband to grant his wife a Get, in case of a civil
divorce.

There are Talmudic reasons for a ketubah to be voided so a divorced woman
is given nothing. This is not just for adultery. A woman's ketubah "rights"
are voided if she serves him food that has not been tithed, having sex with
him when menstruating, not separating the challah, breaking a promise, going
to the market with her head uncovered, speaking (!) to another man, or
spinning in public (sits with her legs spread). Whose purity are we protecting with
these taharat ha mishpocha? Whose family are we protecting? Or do these laws
just protect the man's investment in his wife under the guise of family
purity?

Judaism has never subscribed to the notion of men living together to gain
spirituality through celibacy like monks and priests. But
the church fathers got their interpretation of women as distractions to
spirituality from our teachings. The Talmud when written was
sex-segregated and patriarchal. Yes, we can be quoted passages about how God told
Abraham to "listen" to Sarah, as examples of how women have respect in traditional
Judaism. But what did Sarah tell Abraham to do? She told him to kick Hagar
and Ishmael out of the camp. A different reading might say that the
entire Arab-Jewish conflict was based on a barren woman's jealousy. The rabbis
of the Talmud, as I will give you examples, were easily aroused by women.

The only time they spent with women was as small children with their mothers,
or in bed for a few moments with their wives. Because of their beliefs it
was necessary for them to live their lives, not with women, but parallel to
them. Some acted like monks during the day but had marital relations at night.

While there are Talmudic passages in which men recognized their own weak
sexual nature and made many laws to keep women separate from men, some say that
the Torah shows women as "anomalous, dangerous, dirty, and polluting" writes
Jacob Neusner. Some write that the sages ascribe moral laxity to women
with women incapable of sexual constraint. Leonie Archer claims that the
rabbis consider women to be the sexual aggressors.

In Talmud Kiddushin, Mishna chapter 4, law 12 disallows a man to be
alone with two women, as the rabbis posit sex could occur with one while the
other watched, or with both. The same Mishna allows a woman to be alone with
two men, as men are so Torah conscious, they would protect each other from
her advances. The Talmud teaches that if your business is with women, do not
be alone with them. A man should not teach his son a trade that will let him
be among women. (Can a traditional Jew be a gynecologist?) A woman can be
alone with two men, but not if one is a child, because "she is not embarrassed
to engage in sexual relations in the presence of a minor."

Rabbi Judah said that bachelors may not pasture small cattle (sheep, goats) because they would
do bestiality, but the Talmud allows this, as "Jewish men are not suspected
of this." (Did the rabbis miss the passages in the Torah about how if a man
has sex with an animal both he and the animal are killed?)

The Talmudic law says that one man cannot accompany two woman and one of
their dead children to the cemetery for burial for fear that they will
seduce him. The Talmud also teaches that men should not hear a woman's voice
as they will find it seductive. This of course lends another validation
for a mechitza during worship. Should the women in our society be
subjected to humiliation because men
cannot control themselves? Are the wearing of wigs, frum clothes, and
hiding behind a mechitza needed because men will not take a metaphorical cold
shower?

According to Rabbi Ismar Schorsch, Chancellor of the Jewish Theological
Seminary in New York City, where modern Orthodox rabbis are trained,
Judaism "avows the goodness of the human body. It is no less a mirror of God's
grandeur than the soul. Judaism does not dichotomize human nature into
body and soul, polar opposites locked in never-ending conflict. The flesh
is not the devil's domain or the seat of our passions, to be expiated by
the spirit."

Professor Jacob Milgrom in the new Anchor Bible commentary
on Leviticus explains that to the desert Israelites "blood was the arch
symbol of life. Its oozing from the body was not the world view of the
sign of demons, but was certainly a sign of death." If the intention
therefore of the author of the Torah laws was to have us appreciate life
in all people, segregating women for a third of each month may have
protected men from "a walking death," but certainly painted women as
carriers of death. As we can see from any reading of history,
scapegoating some group as bearers of evil, poisoners of wells, carriers
of plagues, destroyers of economies, blood suckers of a nation's life
force, can lead to pogroms, massacres, and shoahs.

Women are traditionally kept off the bimah as they could sexually snare
men with their looks and voices and because they may be "contaminated"
if they are in menses or recently gave birth. The Talmud says that women
are released from commandments that are time bound (praying three times a
day at specific times, for example) as their time is controlled by
raising children, and that mitzvoth comes first.

But the Talmud does not say a
woman canNOT do these mitzvoth if she takes the obligation upon herself.
The Torah teaches men are just as contaminated as menstruating women if
they had an ejaculation of semen. Since the Talmud also teaches that it
is a mitzvah to have marital relations on Shabbat evening, who is
checking to make sure the men on the bimah at Saturday morning's
services, who are touching the Holy scroll of our Torah, have purified
themselves with a mickvah dip on the way to shul?

What would be the logical reason for not allowing women who have reached menopause, or who
have raised their children, from appearing on the bimah? The rules of
keeping women relegated to a position behind the mechitza barrier, not
only in synagogues, but outside as well, do not hold up to logical
inspection.

The Torah passages outlined in the d'var from this week's parasha that
have been brought into Western civilization's canon, civil, and common law
have served to keep 50 percent of the human race enslaved spiritually,
financially and emotionally. It was only relatively recently that women were given the
right to vote in the United States and the right to make decisions concerning
their own bodies.

Yet, there are those who will try to force women back into the back alleys for
abortions. There are those who say God wants women to submit willfully to
their husbands. Our teachings said that women's menstrual blood, men's
sperm, and the sex act caused contamination and needed a dip in the mickvah, as well as a
sacrifice to become pure. Our rabbis, by
teaching that the oral law was from God on Mt. Sinai, have caused
generations of suffering. These beliefs have caused an accepted
misogynistic culture that still exists and is approved of in many quarters. If the
pope can apologize to us for 2,000 years of mistreatment based on the Church's
teachings, is it not high time for those who say their semicha
(ordination) comes from traditional oral transmission to make amends
for 2,500 years of women's suffering?

This Sabbath is Shabbat Gadol, the "Big" one before the Passover holiday.

.Thank God that the liberal movement set aside
halakah like these laws early in our existence. Thank God that we
understood that these taboos were from a primitive new nation inculcated
with beliefs from the Pharaohs that enslaved them and the tribes that
lived around them. When we talk about liberation from bondage at our
Pesach seders, let us try to think of other customs, laws, notions, and
ideas, that we still cling to that may keep others and ourselves still
enslaved.

Shabbat Shalom,
Rabbi Arthur Segal www.jewishspiritualrenewal.org
Jewish Renewal www.jewishrenewal.info
Jewish Spiritual Renewal http://rabbiarthursegal.blogspot.com
Jewish Spirituality
Eco Judaism
facebook.com/RabbiArthurSegalJewishSpiritualRenewal
Hilton Head Island, SC, Bluffton, SC, Savannah, GARABBI ARTHUR SEGAL:CHUMASH CANDESCENCE:

PARASHA METZORA: LEVITICUS 14:01-15:33

CHUMASH CANDESCENCE
PARASHA METZORA
LEVITICUS 14:01-15:33
SHABBAT HA GADOL

RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL: JEWISH SPIRITUAL RENEWAL: TAZRIA: LASHON HA RA: GOSSIP

RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL: JEWISH SPIRITUAL RENEWAL: TAZRIA: LASHON HA RA: GOSSIP

RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL:TAZRIA:JEWISH RENEWAL:JEWISH SPIRITUAL RENEWAL:CHOFETZ CHAIM

RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL:LEVITICUS 12:01- 13:59:PARASHA TAZRIA:"Spiritual Dermatitis"

PARASHA TAZRIA
LEVITICUS 12:01- 13:59

RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL

www.jewishspiritualrenewal.org
Jewish Renewal www.jewishrenewal.info
Jewish Spiritual Renewal http://rabbiarthursegal.blogspot.com
Jewish Spirituality
Eco Judaism
facebook.com/RabbiArthurSegalJewishSpiritualRenewal
Hilton Head Island, SC, Bluffton, SC, Savannah, GA

"Spiritual Dermatitis"

"Who is the person who Desires Life (Chofetz Chaim)?...He who guards his
tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit" (Psalm 34).

In this week's parasha we read of various dermatological conditions that
were called in Hebrew, tsaraat. This word was mistranslated into Greek
and eventually into our English vernacular as leprosy. The chapters not
only deal with skin eruptions but of discolorations that can appear on
our clothes and the walls of our homes. These scaly lesions render us
impure. Only our priests were able to diagnose us and treat us. A person
afflicted with tsaraat was called a metzora.

Any dermatologist today who has read this portion can tell you that the
conditions described were not what we know as leprosy (Hansen's
disease). Certainly, skin conditions do not spread to our clothes and
the walls of our homes to discolor them.

To make sense out of this parasha, the Talmud and the Midrash state that
something else is going on here. Whether we wish to believe, as our
ancient sages supposedly did, that they had the answer to this puzzle, or
whether we just wish to learn some good life lessons from their
explanation, the traditional teachings deserve a retelling. The lessons
from them are as fresh today as when they were written.

The Midrash (Vayikra Rabba 16:02) states that the word "metzora" comes
from "motzi shem ra" (making a bad name), that is, a slanderer. One who
speaks "loshan ha ra," evil talk, will be afflicted with tsaraat.
Judaism teaches that gossip is not a victimless crime. It blemishes the
person speaking and the one spoken about. It also harms the listener! We
define gossips as relating bad things about another even if it is true.
Not only are we commanded not to do it, but we are commanded not to
listen to it. The Midrash teaches that God gave us ear lobes to fold over
our ears when someone speaks loshan ha ra.

Loshan ha ra literally means an evil tongue. It is defamatory but true
speech about someone. Motzi shem ra is defaming through lying. Rechilus,
which is tale bearing, is the third level. It is from the word regal
(foot) as one who does this is like a peddler (ped=foot in Latin) of
gossip. We cannot say to person A, that person B said something bad
about them.

Bad speech destroys marriages, friendships, businesses, congregations,
and even our own lives. The Talmud says our Second Temple was destroyed and
we are in exile because of it (Talmud Bavli Tractates Yoma 9B and Gitin 57B). There
are fourteen positive mitzvoth and seventeen negative mitzvoth that one
violates when speaking or listening to gossip.

For example, do not be a tale bearer
(Lev. 19:16), do not give a false report (Ex. 23:01), judge your fellow
with righteousness (Lev. 19:15), and so forth. We also wandered in the
desert for forty extra years because we believed the false reports of the spies, who
spoke loshan ha ra against the land of Israel!

Rabbi Israel Kagan wrote a wonderful text on Shmirat Ha Loshan, Guarding
the Tongue. His rules on loshan ha ra, in which he begins with the quote
from King David's Psalm 34, at the top of this page, earned Rabbi Kagan
the name, the "Chofetz Chaim." The foundation named in his honor helps promote
proper speech and love among people. Their web site can be accessed at
<<http://www.chofetzchaim.com>>. They will send you an e-mail newsletter,
for free, with a lesson a day. Within one year, you could learn how to
eliminate this destructive habit.

There are just six basic rules on how to guard your tongue. Rabbi Z.
Pliskin's text called "Guard Your Tongue" is excellent for an overview
of this topic, as is Rabbi Telushkin's "Words that Hurt, Words that
Heal."

1. We cannot say bad things about someone even if its true and even if
the news is in the media.
2. We cannot make any comment that can cause someone anguish, pain,
financial loss, etc., even if it is not derogatory.
3. Any method we use to do 1 and 2 above, other than with our tongues, is
forbidden, such as writing, e-mailing, hand gestures, facial gestures,
etc.
4. We cannot say mean things even kidding.
5. We cannot even bad mouth ourselves.
6. We have an exception. We are obligated to warn a potential bride or
groom, or someone going into a business deal, if we know information
firsthand that will save them from harm or cheating.

The Rabbis took loshan ha ra very seriously. The Midrash (Devarim Rabbah
5:10) says, "Whoever speaks loshan ha ra causes the Shechinah (God's
presence) to depart from this world." In Talmud Arachin 15b, it is
written that God says that He and the gossiper cannot dwell together in
the same world.

King Solomon said, "Six things are hated by God and the
seventh is despised by Him: haughty eyes, a tongue of falsehood, hands
which shed innocent bloods...and one who incites quarrels among
brothers" (Prov. 6:16-19). King Solomon also wrote in the same book
(Prov. 21:23) that "one who guards his mouth and tongue, guards his soul
from tribulations."

In lesson two of the Chofetz Chaim, he writes that it is forbidden to
relate that someone has been remiss in matters of Jewish observance, even
if it is a rabbinic law, a Torah command, or just custom.

It is forbidden to mention an incident in which a law was broken, even in a society
where that halakah [need definition] is ignored commonly. It is loshan ha
ra for us to say Mr. Cohen eats pork or Mrs. Levine spent money on Shabbat. It is also
loshan ha ra for one to bad mouth an entire community, such as saying that
members of "Congregation B'nai Korach" are not "real Jews" because they
are Reform.

The next time you see someone engage in gossip, watch as they look around
to make sure that no one is looking at them. They are very concerned that
the subject of their defamation cannot hear them. In Talmud Arachin 15b,
Rabbi Yochanan said that whoever speaks loshan ha ra is as though he has
denied the existence of God! He quotes Psalm 12:05: "With our tongues we
shall prevail, our lips are with us, who is master over us?" A metzora
has no concern of God watching him.

The power we wield when we speak is far beyond what we can perceive. We
think we are only exchanging words when in fact we can move worlds.
Loshan ha ra is so powerfully poisonous that it is taught that God takes
the good deeds accumulated by the gossiper and gives them to the subject
of the gossip, as well as taking the sins of the subject and giving them
to the gossiper! The Talmud teaches that Loshan ha ra is like a triple
murder, with the gossiper, the listener, and the subject being killed!
Ben Sira wrote in the Apocrypha Ecclesiasticus 19:10: "Have you heard
something? Let it die with you. Be strong. It will not burst you!"

Just as the negative consequences of speech can be so enormous, the
positive effects of good speech is even more vast. The Vilna Gaon says
that proper speech is the single largest factor in determining one's
share in Olam Ha Ba (the world to come). Whether you believe in an
eternal afterlife of not, or even in our Creator, remember that few folks
who gossip about person A when he is not present, will not hesitate to
gossip about you when you are not present.

Few folks who pick on someone
or arbitrarily dislike someone will remain loyal to you. These people
are enemy centered. They are not happy unless they are fighting with or
in some way opposing someone. The metzora (our modern bad mouther) had
to warn others that he was "unclean, unclean" and had to live outside of
the community (Lev. 13: 45-46). These folks can poison our congregations,
sisterhoods, and mens' clubs, and can keep civil, decent people, who do
not wish to keep their ear lobes pulled up, from participation in these
groups. If we wish our congregations to pursue life (chofetz chaim), to
grow and be strong, we need to void these unrepentant self-made metzorem
from our board rooms and sanctuaries.

Choose your companions wisely and avoid bitter, nasty, mean-spirited,
mean-speaking people so that you can pursue life, chofetz chaim, and not
diminish your spirit. Let us do the best we all can to shmirat ha
loshan, to guard our mouths and think kinder thoughts about each other.
We are all God's children and therefore all brothers and sisters on His
earth.

Shabbat Shalom,
RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL

ORIGINAL VERSION WRITTEN WHEN SCHOLAR-IN-RESIDENCE AT CONGREGATION TEMPLE MICKVE ISRAEL, SAVANNAH, GEORGIA

RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL: JEWISH SPIRITUAL RENEWAL: DEREK ERETZ: HONORING ONE'S WIFE

Jewish Spiritual Renewal:



  Derek Eretz Zuta + Rabbah:



Shabbat 4/28/12

(aka Derech Eretz, Derekh Eretz )





Shalom my dear Chaverim, Talmidim, v' Rabbanim, friends, students and fellow rabbis:



An oneg, joy-filled, Shabbat this coming weekend to all. I hope you all had a sweet and joyful Passover.



We continue with our exploration into the Talmudic Tractates of Derek Eretz Zuta and Rabbah. (aka Derech Eretz Zuta, aka Derech Eretz Rabbah. As was mentioned, zuta is Aramaic for 'small', and rabbah is 'large').



Remember that Derek Eretz is not about Jewish ritual. It is about how we are to treat one another and what traits of character, middot, we are to try to develop. The lessons are universal and ecumenical. The development of character traits and Jewish spiritual renewal transformation is called Mussar.



For those new to the class Baruch ha Ba! Welcome!

You can access the last class at Rabbi Arthur Segal: RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL: JEWISH SPIRITUAL RENEWAL : DEREK ERETZ: DOORS OPEN FOR POOR or http://rabbiarthursegal.blogspot.com/2012/02/rabbi-arthur-segal-jewish-spiritual_3751.html

From here you will find links to preceding classes in this series. So, together we continue:



TALMUD BAVLI



TRACTATE



DEREk ERETZ ZUTA



(aka Derech Eretz, Derekh Eretz)



Today we will continue with CHAPTER 9 of Talmud Bavli Tractate Derek Eretz Zuta Verses  9:3-5.

CHAPTER IX.

''9:3: Be careful about the honor of your wife. 9:4: Be glad of your chastisement, for this probably saves you from Gehenna. 9:5: Be joyful at your table when the hungry derive benefit from it, in order that you enjoy longevity and have a share in the world to come. Be also joyful when giving charity from your house, in order that you may pacify the anger of death, as it is written [Prov. xxi. 14]: "A gift in secret pacifieth anger, and a bribe in the bosom, strong fury." If you have troubled your feet for the poor or for the sake of a merit, the following passages may be applied to you [Deut. xxviii . 6]: "Blessed shalt thou be at thy coming in, and blessed shalt thou be at thy coming out."

Let us begin to day with : ''9:3: Be careful about the honor of your wife.'' "Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil,'' so teaches King Solomon in Ecclesiastes 9:9. A happy marriage is one of the highest goals of Judaism, along with life itself.

In the Torah, women have the status of chattel, belong to their husbands, fathers, or brothers in the absence of a father. There are still many laws protecting women's rights in Hebraism, such as making a husband with multiple wives not to love one more than the other, or giving a women the option of not having to marry her brother-in-law when her husband dies leaving her childless or allowing daughter's to inherit.

But in Judaism many laws were enacted to give woman honor ,stature and rights.
Judaism does not consider sex to be sinful or obscene. We do not think of sex as some impure act that we must do in order to have children. The rabbis admit that the desire to want sex comes from our yetzer ha ra, but we need to tame it to have sex 'Judaically,' if you will. The rabbis tell a story of how they petitioned God to do away with the yetzer ha ra, and when God did this, no one went to work, no one built homes and a new generation of children did not arrive. The rabbis then asked God to gave humankind back the yetzer ha ra.

Judaism wants us to control our sexuality. When sex is enjoyed with love as well as desire with a husband and wife, sex in Judaism is a mitzvah. Sex in Judaism is not just for procreation. It helps for a loving bond between the wife and husband, equals in a marriage. Certain types of contraception are allowed in Judaism.

The Hebrew word for sex, literally means to know, Dat. Relationships based on sex without a co-joining of hearts and minds, is not Judaic.

But the need for physical compatibility is important in Judaism. In olden times, with arranged marriages, the couple met before the wedding. If either party found the other not to be sexually attractive, the wedding was called off.

The Talmud lists times to have sex and times not to have sex. Selfish sex without regard for the partner's pleasure is disallowed. Sex should be a joyous time for both. Long before the recent marital rape laws, Judaism forbids a man to force his wife to have sex.

One can't use sex abusively by either forcing it, or denying it, as a form of punishment. One can't have sex if inebriated or when fighting.

Judaism, different than Hebraism made sex the wife's right and not the man's right. Depending on one's occupation, a husband has a duty to give his wife pleasurable sex regularly. Unlike the clueless husbands of today's sit-coms, a husband must watch for signs that his wife wants sex, and to offer it to her before she has to ask for it. The Talmud calls wife's right to sex, onah, and is one of a wife's three basic rights along with clothes and food.

A man cannot reduced his wife's onah. The Talmud goes into detail about the quality and frequency of sex that the husband must give to his wife. This is spelled out in the ketubah, marriage contract.

A husband may not go on a voyage for along time, as this would deprive his wife of sexual intercourse. If a husband, even after having children, refuses to have sex, a woman can divorce him in Judaism. This is quite a change than Hebraism's use of the get, bill of divorcement, in which only a man can institute it.

On the flip side to keep things equal, Judaism does not allow a woman to keep sex from her husband, even though we have mentioned it is her right and not his. If a wife withhold's sex from her husband, he may divorce her. The wife looses her settlement enumerated in her ketubah.

Sex is not just vaginal-penile penetration in Judaism. The Talmud states, "a man may do whatever he pleases with his wife," if both are agreeable. The Talmud encourages foreplay to arouse the woman. It specifically forbids a man from using a ''morning erection'' without first having his wife's permission and arousing her.

There are numerous other ways in which a man can honor his wife beyond the bedroom. Here is one of many more:

We find that God...adorns the bride, as it is written, "And the Lord God built...". Rabbi Yochanan said, "He built Eve [interpreting the word binyan as b'naeh , with beauty] and adorned her with jewels and showed her to Adam." Said Rabbi Abahu, "Perhaps you will say that He showed her to him from some carob tree or bush? But no, after He adorned her with 24 kinds of jewelry, only then did He show her to him. For it says, 'And He brought her to the Adam.'" (Midrash Rabbah Ecclesiastes 7:7. )

Rita Rudner quipped: ''I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.''

The Code of Jewish Law, Orach Chaim 529, reads: "Men are instructed to buy our wives new clothes and jewelry before every Jewish holiday, each husband according to his financial means.'' Men are happy when we ''drink wine and eat meat.'' Women, however, would rather ''wear diamonds.''

The Talmud tells us that a man's livelihood depends on his getting his wife jewels. Talmud Bavli Tractate Bava Metzia 59a teaches us: Rebbi said in the name of Rabbi Chelbo : "A person should always be careful about the honor of his wife, for blessing is found in a person's home only due to his wife, as the verse states, 'And he did good to Abram for her sake.'"

So it is obvious that we honor our wives by treating them with dignity, love, respect, no lashon ha ra about her, and to be sensitive. But jewels? Really? Yes, for when God provided for all of us in B'Midbar, by giving us manna to eat each day, Talmud Bavli Tractate Yoma 75a, says God provided women with jewelry! Trying to emulate God is hard enough trying to be just, kind, merciful, and forgiving, but buying gems...and at maybe even at retail?!

On the same daf, Rava, speaking to his town's people says, "Honor your wives, in order that you will become rich."  Ravi explains in Talmud Bavli Tractate Shabbat 62a. ''There are three things that bring a man to poverty…and one is when his wife curses him." Rava explained, "When she curses him about jewelry, because he can afford it and does not provide her."

The Kabbalah gets into this as well: '' When a man buys his wife fine clothes and jewelry, he should have in mind that he is beautifying the Divine Presence, represented in this world by none other than his wife." "Every man must see himself as standing between two women—the Shechinah (Divine Presence) above, providing him with all his needs, and the Shechinah below, i.e. his wife, to whom he provides in turn.''

Men are simply a channel. According to how we provide for our wives, so will God provide for us. Talmud Bavli Tractate Chullin 84b reads: '' a man should eat and drink less than his means, clothe himself according to his means, and honor his wife and children beyond his means. For they depend upon him, and he depends on the One that spoke and the world came into being.''

In a Jewish Spiritual Renewal sense, a marriage is not a business deal, as it was in Hebraism. If one's marriage is based on:  "you give this and I give that," this is no spiritual union. "Love turns one person into two and two into one." (Rabbi Don Yitzchak Abarbanel). Our souls need to fuse as one.

To show love, one buys something that has no purpose at all. And the sages tell us its jewelry. This goes back to emulating God. As God provides for all of our earthly needs, we need God for our spiritual needs. We need a relationship with God that goes beyond the physical into the metaphysical. The prophets and Midrash describe the Jews' relationship with God as a marriage, with God as the groom, the Israelites as the bride, and the Torah as the Ketubah.

Let us continue with: ''Be glad of your chastisement, for this probably saves you from Gehenna.'' We discussed how we are told to love one who reproves us in Chapter 3 of Derek Eretz Zuta. Reproving means gentle instruction, done privately.Chastisement is a bit stronger.

We actually have a mitzvah in the Torah to reprove our fellows when they are doing something wrong.[Lev.19:17]. It is one of the ways the Torah teaches us to love our fellow. The Talmud goes into detail about when one should reprove. We have to make sure one's ears and hearts are open to learning.

So assuming that one is chastising us for the right reasons, we are to listen, evaluate and learn. We are not to ignore, or worse tell someone to mind their own business. In Judaism, a way of life, others' behaving badly does effect us and the community. Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai , the traditional author of the Kabballah's Zohar, tells of the fellow in a small boat who is drilling a hole beneath his seat. The other passengers yell at him to stop as he will sink the whole boat. He responds that he is only drilling under 'his' seat. [Midrash Rabbah Vayikra 4:6]."Kol Yisroel areivim zeh lazeh ." All Israel, all humans, are responsible for one another. [Talmud Bavli Tractate Shevuot 39a ].

So when someone takes the time to chastise us, gently, with love, and with our best interests at heart, listen and do not hate the person for doing so.

Let us end this lesson with :''9:5: Be joyful at your table when the hungry derive benefit from it, in order that you enjoy longevity and have a share in the world to come. Be also joyful when giving charity from your house, in order that you may pacify the anger of death, as it is written [Prov. xxi. 14]: "A gift in secret pacifieth anger, and a bribe in the bosom, strong fury." If you have troubled your feet for the poor or for the sake of a merit, the following passages may be applied to you [Deut. xxviii . 6]: "Blessed shalt thou be at thy coming in, and blessed shalt thou be at thy coming out."

The Rabbis discuss what we are obligated to provide a individual who is poor. The rabbis cite the verse that instructs us to provide the pauper, "…sufficient for his needs which he is lacking." (Deut .15:8). Talmud Bavli Tractate Ketubot 67b talks about how we give charity.

"You are obligated to provide the poor person "sufficient for his needs," but you are not obligated to make him rich. When the verse in the Torah adds, "which he is lacking," this implies even a horse to ride upon and a servant to run before him."
While the Gemorah explains that a person is used to luxuries , and has come into hard times, and we provide him with a servant , we are not making him rich. Going above having our needs fulfilled is being rich and having no concerns.

So giving to those in need, even if we get tired and sore feet from running to do these mitzvot of chesed brings us joy longevity, heaven, a painless death, and Divine blessings whether in or out of our homes.

We discuss these middot, character traits chesed, respect, love, tzadakkah, throughout the majority of chapters in ''The Handbook to Jewish Spiritual Renewal: A Path of Transformation for the Modern Jew'' ' (http://www.jewishspiritualrenewal.net/ ) as well as in most chapters of ''A Spiritual and Ethical Compendium to the Torah and Talmud''

(http://www.jewishspiritualrenewal.net/index.html#Compendium2 ) .



What are your ideas about these character traits? How has learning Talmud's Derek Eretz helped you in your interpersonal relationships? How has understanding the spiritual and ethical teachings of Judaism helped you live a more joyous life?



Next class, Baruch ha Shem, we will continue with Derek Eretz Zuta, Chapter Seven. Thank you for joining me.

For those who want a d'var Torah on Parashot Tazria and Metzorah  from '''A Spiritual and Ethical Compendium to the Torah and Talmud'' please click on

Rabbi Arthur Segal: RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL:TAZRIA:JEWISH RENEWAL:JEWISH SPIRITUAL RENEWAL:CHOFETZ CHAIM    or http://rabbiarthursegal.blogspot.com/2008/09/rabbi-arthur-segaltazriajewish.html

and

Rabbi Arthur Segal: RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL:CHUMASH CANDESCENCE:PARASHA METZORA: LEVITICUS 14:01-15:33 or

http://rabbiarthursegal.blogspot.com/2008/02/rabbi-arthur-segalchumash.html

Amazon.com: The Path and Wisdom for Living at Peace with Others, A Modern Commentary on Talmud Tractates Derek Eretz Zuta and R

or http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00757JMIM

Shabbat Shalom:

Rabbi Arthur Segal_

www.jewishspiritualrenewal.org_ (http://www.jewishspiritualrenewal.org/ )

Jewish Renewal_

www.jewishrenewal.info(http://www.jewishrenewal.info/ )

Jewish Spiritual Renewal

Jewish Spirituality

Eco Judaism

Hilton Head Island, SC, Bluffton, SC, Savannah, GA

If visiting SC's Low Country, contact us for a Shabbat meal, in our home by the sea, our beth yam.

Maker of Shalom (Oseh Shalom) help make us deserving of Shalom beyond all human comprehension!!

CHAPTER IX.