So. together we continue:  
In our last classes, we discussed Modesty , Humility,  Meekness,  Eagerness and Courage. Today I invite you to explore with me  the middah,  trait,  of  bearing wrongs done  to us.
  As we discussed in the first class, and this is for the benefit of those  new to the class, Judaism calls the ethical behavior that is expected from one  person to another Derek Eretz. Literally this means '' the way of the  land.''  It means behaving appropriately as one  mindfully walks with God . Two Tractates of Talmud are devoted to  this: Derek Eretz Zuta and Rabbah. Zuta means small in Aramaic and Rabbah means  big. We have seen Rabbah used when we say Todah Rabbah (thanks a lot) to  someone, or in the Midrash Rabbah (the Great Midrash). The word Zuta we do not  often see used and has become archaic.  
  
 Another Hebrew word used is Mussar. In modern parlance it means self-  improvement : spiritual and ethical personal growth.
  
 I have heard many times that Judaism is a ''legalistic religion'' while one  of the USA's major religions is a ''way of love.'' While Judaism certainly has  its rules, stemming from its Hebraic roots, all of Torah, and Talmud is to teach  loving kindness. The Talmud Tractate Beracoth is clear  that  any Rabbinic commandment asking us to do some ritual,  must be waved  for the honor and feelings of another. Love of God is to lead us to love of all  of our fellows.
  
 It is easy to love our neighbor when all is going well. But how do we love  our neighbor who mows his lawn at 6 AM on a Sunday? The answer is in Leviticus  19: 17-18. When we are told not to hate, not to revenge, not to   resent, but to love, and to gently instruct when someone is on the wrong path,  the verse ends with "I am God." It   is only via God's love, that we  are able to love all, even those folks who annoy us.
  
 The Talmud via Rabbi Akiva states that the two most important commandments  are love of one's fellow and love of God. The Talmud's Rabbi Hillel defines a  behavior pattern to lead us to love and not to hate: ''What is hateful unto you,  do not do to your fellows.''  This lead to compiling  rules of Derek  Eretz , how we relate to each other.
  
  "Whether a man really loves the Divine can be determined by the love he  bears toward his fellow men." Rebbe Levi Yitzchok of Berditchev, Poland  (1740-1810). We have all seen others, even in ourselves, even in myself if I am  not 100% God-conscious and connected, how we can be at synagogues, praying to  God, or sending email ditties telling our friends to 'trust in Ha Shem,' or all  holding hands singing Heni Ma Tovu (How good and pleasant it is when brothers  (and sisters) dwell in unity), and then drive by ignoring someone with a flat  tire, or do lashon ha ra about someone, or even have one rabbi ignore or slander  another. The real test to see how one loves God, is to see how one loves and  treats all of his or her fellows. Its easy to be nice to someone we like. When  we can love a person who rubs us the wrong way then we know we have  listened to that ''still small voice", that eternal spark of the Divine, inside  all of us.
  
 The Midrash teaches:  All  Jews are ma'aminim b'nei ma'aminim, believers who are descendants of believers,  but most important is not faith itself, but actions which point to one's  faith.
 
 
 Some more Midrash:  D'Vei Eliyahu  Rabbah (ch. 28) states: The  Holy One, Blessed is He, said to Israel: My beloved children! Is there anything  I lack that I should have to ask of you? All I ask of you is that you love one  another, that you honor one another, that you respect one another. In this way,  no sin, robbery, or base deed will be found among you, so that you will remain  undefiled forever. Thus it is written, "He has told you, O man, what is good,  and what Ha Shem seeks of you — only the doing of justice, loving kindness, and  walking humbly with Ha Shem, your God" (Mic: 6:8).
  
 Some Kabbalah from the Zohar Genesis on  Parasha Mikeitz  201b : Not only did Yosef   not repay his brothers in kind [for their  having sold him], but he acted toward them with kindness and truth. Such is  always the way of the righteous. Therefore, the Holy One, Blessed is He, forever  watches over them, in this world and in the next.
  
 The Torah tells us: Lev: 19:18 : "You shall not  take revenge and you shall not bear a grudge ; you shall love your fellow as  yourself."  If it happens that one's  fellow acted improperly towards us, we must not take revenge or bear a  grudge. Rather, we must erase the matter from our heart, and seek to do  good in every way with that person, just as he would with any other person, as  if nothing negative had ever come between us. This is what Judaism requires  of us. To do anything less, is not Judaic, and shows us spiritually disconnected  from God.
  
 This is why each of us each night is to do the bed  time Shema. I have been doing it for years, and it has help change me. I sleep  like a log. Why go to bed, or walk around each day, having someone in our heads,  not paying rent? Why keep a grudge when its only going to be an acid eating away  at the container (us)?
  
  The first paragraph of the Bedtime Shema is:'' Master of the universe, I  hereby forgive anyone who angered or antagonized me or who sinned against me —  whether against my body, my property, my honor or against anything of mine;  whether he did so accidentally, willfully, carelessly, or purposely; whether  through speech, deed, thought, or notion; whether in this transmigration or  another transmigration. May no man be punished because of me. May it will be  Your will, Ha Shem, my God and the God of my forefathers, that I may  sin no more. Whatever sins I have done before You, may You blot out in Your  abundant mercies, but not through suffering or bad illnesses. May the  expressions of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart find favor before You, Ha  Shem, my Rock and my Redeemer.''  The last line is from the  TaNaK:
 Psalms 19:15.   THE BEDTIME SHEMA    
 It is only in the 3rd paragraph that we say the actual Shema acknowledging  God as One. As we have shown over and over in last year's class  on Jewish ethics and spirituality, it is our relationship with others, the man  to man mitzvoth, that takes precedence over the man to God mitzvoth.  
    
  Judaism's Derek Eretz teaches us to try to live by these  wonderful  guidelines: 
   
 "If others speak evil of you  let the worst thing said seem unimportant in your eyes; but if you have spoken  evil of others, let the least word of it seem important.
 If you have done much good, let  it seem little in your eyes, and say: 'Not of mine own have I done  this,  but of that good which has come to me through others.' However, let a small  kindness done to you appear great." (Talmud Tractate Bavli Derek Eretz  Zuta).
  
 We discuss exactly how to rid  our selves of grudges and resentments and learn to bear wrongs done to us, in  Chapter Four of The Handbook to  Jewish Spiritual Renewal: A Path of Transformation for the Modern Jew  
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