Wednesday, January 19, 2011

RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL: JEWISH RENEWAL: DERECH DEREK ERETZ: DON'T ANSWER INSULTS

RABBI ARTHUR SEGAL: JEWISH  RENEWAL: DERECH DEREK ERETZ: DON'T ANSWER INSULTS
 
 Jewish Spiritual Renewal: Derek Eretz Zuta + Rabbah:
 
Shabbat 01/22/11
 
(aka Derech Eretz )
 
This class is for the merit of my mother, Blooma  bat Blooma v Israel ha Levi, and my friend and our fellow talmidah, Diamond, for rfua shlema,  a quick and complete healing.
 
The JEWISH SPIRITUAL RENEWAL class list is hosted by Shamash: The Jewish Network a service of Hebrew College/Yeshiva
 
Before we delve into the Talmud, a reminder that this Wednesday eve, January 19, 2011, begins Tu B'Shevat, the New Year for Trees. For those who want to do a Kabbalist Seder, here is an easy Hagaddah for you to follow.
So Chag Somayach! Happy Holiday of the 15th of Shevat.
 
Shalom my dear Chaverim, Talmidim, v' Rabbanim, friends, students and fellow rabbis:
 
An oneg, joy-filled, Shabbat, Sabbath, this weekend .
 
We continue with our exploration into the Talmudic Tractates of Derek Eretz Zuta and Rabbah. (aka Derech Eretz Zuta, aka Derech Eretz Rabbah. As was mentioned, zuta is Aramaic for 'small', and rabbah is 'large'). Remember that Derek Eretz is not about Jewish ritual. It is about how we are to treat one another and what traits of character, middot, we are to try to develop. The lessons are universal and ecumenical.
 
For those new to the class, Baruch ha Ba! Welcome! You can access last week's class  at 
 
 
 
 
From there you will find links to preceding classes in this new series (new as of Simcha Torah,  the holiday of rejoicing over the giving and receiving of the Torah, circa 3300 years ago at Sinai), October 2, 2010).
 
So. together we continue:
 
TALMUD BAVLI
 
TRACTATE DEREK
 
ERETZ ZUTA
 
(aka Derech Eretz)
 
CHAPTER I.
 
Talmud Bavli Tractate Derek Eretz Zuta Verse   1:4: ''If you have sustained a loss of your property, remember that Job lost his property, children, and health. Be careful about all that you see with your eyes, for the principal deception is by the eye. Be careful with your teeth that you should not eat too much. Do not discuss with the Sadducees, that you shall not fall into the Gehena . When you hear others insult you, do not answer them. If people are praising you for having done a great thing, you shall nevertheless consider it of no importance. ''
 
Today we will discuss the last two sentences of verse 1:4.  The fourth is: '' When you hear others insult you, do not answer them. '' 
 
When we think about it, the topics of folks talking badly about us fall into two categories, either it is the truth about us, or it is false about us. Of course, we also know that some gossip has a grain of truth in it, to help fertilize the lies.
 
If the gossip is patently false about us, we remain silent. Why? Well, from a spiritual point of view, ''Never explain, never complain,'' holds true. Never explain yourself. Your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe it. 
 
We know from a spiritual view point that those who gossip are spiritually disconnected. The Talmud goes so far as to say that God and a gossip cannot abide in the same world. The sages say that those that gossip, are in fact atheists, for if you see gossips chatter, they whisper into another's ear. They do not want other humans seeing them gossip, but they have no awe or love or even belief in God, Who can see and hear them gossip.
 
So falsehoods spoken about us need no response. And as mentioned in one of our preceding classes, we use the Bed Time Shema, to ask God to let us forgive anyone who has harmed us each day, and for them not even to be punished on  our account. 
 
 ''Master of the universe, I hereby forgive anyone who angered or antagonized me or who sinned against me — whether against my body, my property, my honor or against anything of mine; whether he did so accidentally, willfully, carelessly, or purposely; whether through speech, deed, thought, or notion; whether in this transmigration or another transmigration. May no man be punished because of me. ''
 
There are a lot of other statements about why we do not reply to gossip. One which needs a certain mind-set to understand is that the merits, the good deeds, of a gossip, go on our side of our good deed tally, and the misdeeds of us, go onto the tally of the gossip. This works only if you believe in a cosmic score card.
 
People finding fault with others is only them painting others with their own defects. This is definitely Talmudic as well as proven in psychology. It is called projection. It seems always to be the gossip who complains about someone else's gossiping.
 
Now when we hear something bad said about us and it is true, we still do not  respond. We must spend some time alone, and realize that the gossiper, as sinful as gossip is, is our best teacher for that moment. We need to do an inventory of our soul, a chesbon ha nefesh, and own up to the truth of our defects of character. We then must find them abhorrent. We need to find them objectionable, not just our friends or spouses finding our defects objectionable.
 
When we find them objectionable, we then need to do vidui, confession, to God and our rabbi or another trusted person.  We then must ask God to help us rid ourselves of these defects, {tashlich}.  And after having done that, we must seek out folks who we have harmed with this defect and make amends, teshuvah.
 
The operative word in the phrase of verse 1:4 is ''insult.'' So we are not necessarily talking about gossip, per se. Jews, just like our fellows in other religions, are taught to turn the other cheek, when it comes to verbal insults. Physical assault is a different story, as Judaism is not a basically pacifistic religion.
In point of fact when folks are insulting, respond back with loving kindness.  Arnold Toynbee says: "Love is the ultimate force that makes for the saving choice of life and good against the damning choice of death and evil. Therefore the first hope in our inventory must be the hope that love is going to have the last word."
 
We have to remember humility. We studied this in verse 1:1.  The Talmud tells us we are nothing more than ''a putrid drop from our fathers'', and that our end is nothing more than ''food for worms and maggots.'' When we really understand this and believe it, what insult can anyone say that tops this?
 
The sixth and last sentence of verse 4 is:  '' If people are praising you for having done a great thing, you shall nevertheless consider it of no importance.''
 
This is the flip side of the fifth sentence. If we are blessed in life to do something ''great,'' we must give all credit to He Who gives us the skills, and intellect, wisdom and understanding to achieve a ''great thing.'' We do respond, and our response is to acknowledge God, our teachers, and all who have aided us. In fact, it would be nice if we said "you know, anyone with the same skills as I could have done an even better job.''
 
While I understand the need for synagogues and other charitable organizations to earn funds, when we laud over others too much, having their pictures and names in our newsletters multiple times, or calling them 'man' or 'woman' of the year, this does not help in ego deflation. And ego deflation is needed to practice Derek Eretz. Worse yet, folks with ego, believe their own press, and PR becomes a drug to them. Look at an organiztion's bulletins, month after month, and when you see the same volunteers year after year, you can see which folks are taking full credit for their achievements. While we say they ''volunteer'', they are really getting paid with kudos.
 
Both verses allow us to understand that If we are doing God's will, others people's opinions  of us are none of our business. We no longer have skin like Velcro. Nothing sticks to us, neither praise nor insult. We have skin like Teflon.  We have to remember that Moshe Rabbanu, Moses our Rabbi, could not please every one and neither will we. The only One we are truly accountable to is God. Having other's approval is only icing on the cake.
 
We discuss the aspects of this verse of Derek Eretz Zuta about not letting lashon ha ra  stick to us, and about humility,  through out the majority of chapters in  The Handbook to Jewish Spiritual Renewal: A Path of Transformation for the Modern Jew  as well as in most chapters of A Spiritual and Ethical Compendium to the Torah and Talmud  .
 
What are your ideas about letting gossip about you go undefended?  How has giving away all credit for your successes to God, your teachers, those who helped you affected your spiritual life? How has understanding why folks gossip, and praying for them, as opposed to fighting with them, helped you live a happier life?
 
Next class, Baruch ha Shem, we will continue with Derek Eretz Zuta,  with the fifth verse.  Thank you for joining me.  
 
 
Shalom :
 
Rabbi Arthur Segal www.jewishspiritualrenewal.org
Via Shamash Org on-line class service
Jewish Renewal www.jewishrenewal.info
Jewish Spiritual Renewal
Jewish Spirituality
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Hilton Head Island, SC, Bluffton, SC, Savannah, GA
 
If visiting SC's Low Country, contact us for a Shabbat meal, in our home by the sea, our beth yam.
 
Maker of Shalom (Oseh Shalom) help make us deserving of Shalom beyond all human comprehension!
 
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Posted by Rabbi Arthur Segal at 11:20 AM