''Take care that your teeth shall not shame you, and you shalt not be disgraced by your mouth, and not cursed by your tongue, and not put to shame by your lips. Take care that you should not need to bow to some one on account of your own words. '' This verse is not about the ills of bad dental hygiene. If it appears that there is an admonition from our Sages to watch our words carefully, in every few verses of how we are to behave towards one another, we are correct.
The sages considered lashon ha ra to be one of the worst behaviors in a society that wished to live in peace. The rabbis taught that lashon ha ra kills three: the subject, the listener and the speaker. [Talmud Bavli Tractate Arachin 15a].
They further say that the listener is a worse murderer than the speaker because if the listener didn't listen, the speaker would have no one to whom to spread his gossip.{ibid}.
When we gossip, we shame, disgrace, and curse ourselves. When we are caught doing lashon ha ra, we then have to humiliate and humble ourselves by actually bowing down to another, begging for forgiveness. ''Be very careful with gossip because with it you will embarrass yourself, for one who denigrates is merely projecting his own fault onto someone else. It's natural to take your own faults and point them out in others.''(Ramchal: The Ways of the Righteous, The Gate of Lashon Hara)
No one trusts a gossip. When someone gossips to us about someone, it is guaranteed as soon as we are not in the room, the will talk badly about us. The sages tell us that gossips deny God, because when they gossip, they look around to make sure that no one can see them, but deny that The Eternal One truly can see and hear them. [Talmud Bavli Tractate Arachin 15b ].
It is taught that God and a gossip can not live in the same world (Midrash Devarim Rabbah 5:10) and of the so many defective behaviors, humans can do, God truly hates the sin of gossip.(Prov. 6:16-19). Although I have taught that God forgives all sins and teshuvah, repentance, renewal is open to all, Rabbi Shimon bar Yochi says that God will not forgive lashon ha ra (Zohar on Shelach 161).
As mentioned above, we dishonor ourselves when we gossip. We are shown to be jealous people with low self esteem, who have to put others down to make our egos feel better. The sages ask: "Who is honored?" They answer: " He who honors another.'' The converse is true as well . [Talmud Bavli Tractate Pirkei Avot 4:1].
''Which of you wants a full life? Who would like to live long enough to enjoy good things? Keep your tongue from saying evil things and your lips from speaking deceitful things.'' (Ps. 34:12-13).
''If you wish to become attached to your neighbor through bonds of love, always consider what good you are able to do for him. '' Our sages are referring to the virtue of altruism. This part of verse 6:8 is not a recipe on getting our neighbors to love us or to be attached to us, it is a prescription for us to learn to love our neighbors and for us to feel a bond towards them. Think about what we can do for them expecting nothing back in return, perhaps not even a 'thank you.' As I have taught in Jewish Spiritual Renewal, when we live, waking each day asking God to help show us how we can be of maximum service to our fellows and God, we live a life where we cannot be disappointed from our not getting enough. We seek to give, and not get.
''If it be your wish to be kept away from sin, always look to the result of it. If you are craving for merits, consider carefully their details.'' Our yetzer ha ra can move quickly and not allow us to slow down, pray, meditate and think. Actions from our ego, the absence of restraint, can cause us to do something, which will cause us harm later on. Some times that harm comes quickly, and many times years later. If we are continually in conscious contact spiritually, we are aware of our thoughts and actions, and to what those actions could lead. When we are wrapped up in our ego, worrying about ''all about me,'' it is easy to slip and fall into behaviors of our defects of character.
The same holds true when we are craving merits, rewards. Our ego is on overdrive and we loose site of what is truly good for us or where it can lead. Craving, and the rabbis choose this word carefully, is an addiction, a compulsion. We think we want something so badly, that we make a mess of things to get it.
Sound familiar?
If we considered the ludicrousness of the above, we would have never started down that path. So if we are craving something which we think has merit, value, we need to consider all of the details involved to obtain it, and what might occur after we actually do. This applies even to that second portion of peach cobbler.
Next week, Baruch ha Shem, we will continue with the last verse of chapter two of Derek Eretz Zuta .