The Talmud Bavli in Tractate Nedarim tells us (22a), "The angry person is overcome by all forms of hell;...(22b) the angry person considers God unimportant...the angry person forgets wisdom and increases in stupidity." So-called ''controlled anger'' rarely if ever exisits
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There is nothing left afterwards for the angry person (Talmud Bavli Tractate Kiddushin 40b-41a). When a person gets angry, if he is wise he loses his wisdom ( Talmud Bavli Tractate Pesachim 66b). An angry person's life isn't life (Talmud Bavli Tractate Pesachim 113b). He tears himself and he tears his relationships down. The Sages teach us that God loves the person who doesn't get angry (Talmud Bavli Tractate Pesachim 113b). Ecclesiastes 11:10 reads, "Remove anger from your heart," which the Talmud Bavli Tractate Ta'anit 4a takes a step even further by saying,based on Ecclesiastes' verse, "A person must train himself to be gentle."
Remember also, if we allow anger to fester in our homes, the sages teach: ''Anger in a home is like rottenness in fruit. (Talmud Bavli Tractate Sotah 3) ''
When someone admonishes us, assuming they are doing to honestly reprove us, we have found ourselves at the moment a fantastic teacher to learn from. While it would be nice if we did a daily honest chesbon ha nefesh, a moral inventory, many times we forget to look at ourselves or rationalize by lying to ourselves. If someone is taking the same to show us our shortcomings, listen and love him for it.
Conversely those who always tell us how wonderful we are, are only feeding our egos and our yetzer ha ra. Don't take the good press seriously. We will have a tendency to sit on our laurels and not increase our wisdom. Rabbi Hillel taught that one who doesn't increase his wisdom and spirituality, doesn't actually stay where he is, but decreases in his wisdom and spirituality. [Pirkei Avot 1:13].
True prayer, called Tephila in Hebrew, is self-judging. It is not 'dovening' at some break-neck speed in a rush to finish and leave the prayer-house. Thrice daily prayer also included meditation, when we sit quietly and listen to God's instructions to us. God, that still small voice in each of us, is always speaking to us. We have to learn to quiet ourselves and listen. Much more on prayer and mediation is in chapters 8 and 9 of "The Handbook to Jewish Spiritual Renewal: A Path of Transformation for the Modern Jew,"The Handbook to Jewish Spiritual Renewal or https://www.createspace.com/1000243192.
When we judge ourselves and listen to God's will for us, the less likely we are to err and the more likely we are to succeed.
When we study, and our children see us study, the higher the chance that our children will learn and love to study as well. Its no coincidence that a generation of immigrant Jews who studied Torah and Talmud each day produced a generation of doctors and lawyers.
But more than this, the whole purpose of studying Torah, Talmud et .al., is to learn ahavath chesed, loving kindness, and derek eretz, proper behavior towards others. Children raised without this benefit are like children raised near water and not knowing how to swim. In fact a father's obligation is to teach not only Torah to his children but an occupation and how to swim.(Talmud Bavli Tractate Kiddushin 29a)
While Jewish education, including the study of Talmud is certainly waning in Jewish homes, it is now mandatory in South Korea. Yes, South Korea requires its students to learn Talmud. The Korean's definition of Talmud is quite different than Judaism's. Their version is a Korean translation of Rabbi Marvin Tokayer's compilation of stories from the TaNaK and the Talmud for the Japanese audience. To the Korean's these are children's tales, each teaching some wise or ethical lesson.
But still it is odd that South Korean school children can quote Rabbis Papa, Abaye and Rava, along with the law of "an egg hatched on a Holy Day,'' while most Jewish kids in the USA sadly can not.
The parent who teaches his son, it is as if he had taught his son, his son's son, and so on to the end of generations. (Talmud Bavli Tractate Kiddushin 36). Conversely when we do not teach our children, we are depriving our future generations, and doing true harm to Judaism.
Verse 9:1 and our class today ends with: "Love the poor, in order that your children shall not come to poverty." There are so many laws in the Torah and Talmud about taking care of the poor among us that we cannot cover them all in this book. The Talmud calls helping the poor, salt, a preservative for our own wealth.
Charity or caritas means selfless love. It would be wonderful if we all helped one another because of selflessness. The best translation of this in Hebrew is Ahavath Chesed, loving kindness.
Tsadakkah, defined as righteousness, is the Hebrew word for what is used as charity.
Everything we have is a loan from God...that we gained nothing without God's aid. Since all is a loan, those loans are called occasionally when we need to help others. In fact the Talmud teaches us that if two beggars each have one coin each, each beggars should give the other his coin.
When we spiritually understand that the money is just a loan from God, and parting with some is not going to harm us, we loosen that tight fist we have hold on to our wallets.
When our hands relax and become open, we are able to receive more blessings from God. Its a spiritual truism.
If we do not use some of our money for Tsadakkah it will be taken from us. The Talmud talks of Tsadakkah as being 'salt-preservative' for our wealth. By loving the poor, and helping them, we are helping our own children
The following is told in the Talmud of a father who did not help the poor as best as he could, and what became of his daughter:
Rabbi Nakdimon ben Guryon was one of the 3 richest men in Jerusalem and helped support the Jews their during the Roman occupation of Vespasian . Yet we learn he lost everything. His daughter was found picking barley seeds from the dung of Arab's donkeys because R. Nakdimon reneged on her dowry of one million gold dinars as he became impecunious. (Talmud Bavli Tractate Ketubot 66b)
She tells Rabbi Yochanan that charity is the salt, the preserver, of one's wealth.
She explained to a shocked R. Yochanan that her father, when he walked from the Temple to his house and back, would have his servants, lay silk carpets along the streets for him to walk on.
As an act of Tsadakkah, R. Nakdimon, would then have his servants give the carpets to the poor.
The Gemorah chides R. Nakdimon for doing this act out of glorification and for his own ego, and further, while he was very generous, for a man of his wealth, he could have given much more.
R. Yochanan ben Zakkai then burst into tears, and said, "Happy are you, Israel. As long as you perform the will of God, no nation or people can rule over you. But when you fail to perform the will of God, you are delivered into the hands of a humiliating nation; and not only the hands of a humiliating nation, but also into the hands of the beasts of the humiliating nation."
While it is a mitzvah, a commandment, to give Tsadakkah, it is still better to give altruistically, and with ahavath chesed. Even so, loving the poor, helps our children grow to have chesed, as well as it being a salt for their eventual inheritance.